Shattered hearts
by musa lover
Summary: Musa's heart is left shattered after her boyfriend of nearly a year and a half dumps her leaving her to reflect on her feelings and her love for him. I don't own the song 'when you're gone' by Avril Lavigne and story contains mention of drinking and passing out.


Crystalline tears streaked their way down my face, leaving translucent trails down my ivory cheeks. I gazed out at the endless blue sky, stretching out into the horizon making me feel so small in the scheme of things. Tendrils of my inky blue hair were being teased by the wind, ticking my neck as I gazed into the incandescent moon making the twinkling stares pale in comparison.

**I always needed time on my own**

**I never thought I'd need you there when I cry**

My mind was filled with memories of the day when my friends went to downland. The smothering sense of distress and worriment flooded my heart as the same tears that scar my cheeks flowed.

His tantalizing scent and the way he held me as I cried are embedded in my mind. I said 'don't you tell anyone that I cried' and he tentively held me and said 'I won't.

I thought I needed time on my own, but I needed him to caress me as the tears stream down before splashing on the grass.

**The days feel like years when I'm alone**

**And the bed where you lie**

**Is made up on your side**

My mind flashes to the previous few days. My friends are devastated. Crying with me, holding me and accompanying me. They engulf me, suffocating me in kindness until I burst.

Loneliness creeps in. gently consuming me until I feel alone even in a room with my closest friends.

The bed where he lay with me is still made. The sheets still smelling faintly of the chocolate spray he uses.

**When you walk away**

**I count the steps that you take**

**Do you see how much I see you right now?**

My breathing becomes rapid. The number 6 tumbling around in my throbbing head. The amount of steps he took before he walked out of my life. He doesn't see the longing faces and the silent tears as I weep. I need him so much right now.

**When you're gone**

**Pieces of my heart are missing you**

**When you're gone**

**The face I came to know**

**Is missing you**

My breathing becomes frantic. My shattered heart aches for him. His ouch, smell presence. I wake up, expecting to see your face staring back at me. But it's not.

**When you're gone**

**The words I need to hear to**

**Always get me through the day**

**And make it through the day**

**And make it ok**

**I miss you**

My body shakes. My body tucked in a protective ball as I hide from the world behind my defensive curtain of hair.

My friends talk to me, saying words of comfort but I need you. To hear your voice, one last time, to see me through the day.

To stop the agonizing pain the surges through my body, your name tattooed on my shattered heart

**I've never felt this way before**

**Everything thing that I do**

**Reminds me of you**

My heart breaks everytime I see a leva bike. It shatters when I our tree.

No matter what I do you're in my thoughts

Haunting me

Constantly reminding me of what I can never have.

Your heart

**And the clothes that you left**

**They lie on the floor**

**And they smell just like you**

**I love the things that you do**

I trudge back into my room, my azure eyes settling the dark shapes of your shirts you left.

Heart pounding, I cautiously pick one up; engulfing my body in your delicious fragrance as I think of you, and all the things you do

**When you walk away**

**I count the steps that you take**

**Do you see how much I need you right now?**

My knees buckle. Memories of the last time I begged him to come back to me, of the frigid snow clinging to my knees as I fall. As you walk out of my life.

23 steps

**When you're gone**

**Pieces of my heart are missing you**

**When you're gone**

**The face I came to know**

**Is missing you**

I gaze in the mirror. My naturally pale skin highlights my blood red eyes and my mattered locks. My eyes are devoid of emotion as my swollen, broken heart bleed for you and the face I've come to know

**When you're gone**

**The words I need to hear **

**To always get me through the day**

**And make it ok**

**I miss you**

I slip down, my partially exposed back pressing against the frozen vanity.

I bring my knees up and hide behind my hair as I think off all the words you've said.

The ones that help me through every day, as my heart bleeds for you

**We were made for each other**

**Out here forever **

**I know we were **

**Yeah**

Searing Anger, betrayal and regret flood my veins, clouding my vision as I picture out happily ever after.

You and I and our children slowly fade, just like your love for me

**All I ever wanted was for you to know**

**Everything I do I give my heart and soul**

**I can hardly breathe **

**I need to feel you here with me**

**Yeah**

Sorrow laces cries shake my body as I fight to regain control. I gasp at the air, begging it to cradle me, or better yet, to let me fade away

**When you're gone**

**The pieces of my heart are missing you**

**When you're gone**

**The face I came to know **

**Is missing you**

I lie on the cold tile floor, pressing my boiling cheek to the floor as a singles tear travels down my cheek and drips onto the floor. Taking pieces of my heart with it,

Heaving myself up, I trudge my way to my alcohol cabinet. I grab the vodka and take several large big gulps. Feeling its effects flood my body, taking me sense of reality, and his face, with it.

**When you're gone**

**The words I need to hear **

**To always get me through**

**The day **

**And make it ok**

**I miss you**

I collapse onto the floor, barley sitting up as I take more swigs, the room blurring as shapes blend. The darkness dance around my eyelids and slowly draining my pain as well as you're hateful words, away.

I always thought you were mine and I was yours, however life has a funny way off stabbing you and grinding your heart into dust.

I can barely make it through the day, my deadened, fragmented hear, throbs. However, the last words that escape my lips before the world becomes murky escape my lips.

"Il always love you, my darling Riven"

Hi again guys

I'm sorry I haven't done any writing and I'm sorry that this piece is worthless and pathetic. However it is very close to my heart as only a few days ago my boyfriend dumped me. 3 days from our one and a half year anniversary.

I miss him so much that it physically hurts and I know I'll always love him, hence this one shot.

It is technically out anniversary now was it is 12.55 as I'm writing this.

Thanks for reading and this song is called 'When you're gone' by Avril Lavigne. I only own my feelings and plot.


End file.
